


I Think I'm Gonna Be Okay

by phanfindsfriends



Category: Homestuck
Genre: But He Doesn't Realize It, Dave is 14, Depression, Karkat is 15, Karkat is just sort of there for him, Not Beta Read, Sadness, Self-Harm, Supportive Bro, and shit happens, basically dave gets triggered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 23:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11428065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanfindsfriends/pseuds/phanfindsfriends
Summary: Dave fucks up and his Karkat is there for him.





	I Think I'm Gonna Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Hey people, just to let you know, any type self harm is bad. Don't do it. I've done it. I regret it. I still do it. I'm getting help don't badger me. I'm seeing people, I'm in the meds, we are handling this shit. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is based on an experience I had so yeah. Shout to the my moirail for being so fucking cool about everything.

The thing about self-harm is that most lost of the time it's not planned. When people get triggered it's not always gasping and yelling and crying. Sometimes, for people like Dave, something just clicks in your head and you start to fidget. You bounce your foot up and down or scratch at a phantom itch. Then maybe you'll keep scratching at that itch until your skin is peeling back and stinging. They you start again, using only one nail this time, in a different spot. Then another spot, them another, then another, until finally your arm is sickly yellow and red in places and you can see when capillaries have burst under your skin. You just can't seem to stop. You haven't slept and it's 7am. You walk to the door of the living room, where you're brother is sleeping. You pace back and forth and contemplate on telling him what you've done. You know he'll notice, even if you wear long sleeves, because it's July and Texas is unbearably hot this time of year. You end up walking back to your room, but before you open the door you hear the toilet flush, the bathroom door open, and your brother call out to you. "Hey Dave, that you?" You take a deep breath and try to calm your nerves. "Yeah," your voice cracks. "Uh, hey Bro can we talk?" "Sure," he answers and leads to to the living room. He throws a pillow off of the couch to make room for you and you flinch. "What'd you wanna talk about?" "I, uh," silence hangs in the air for a moment and you uncross your arms, showing him the scratched one. "I scratched up my arm really bad." He gently takes hold of your arm and examines it. "Was it itching?" "No." Your voice cracks again. He looks at your shadeless face, you usually don't wear them in the house anymore. Not after his 180 degree personality switch on John's birthday. "Okay." He whispers and pulls you down to his level. He does the most unexpected thing; he hugs you. You expected him to scream and yell and tell you that you fucked up. Anything but a hug. You gladly accept the hug and let him wrap his arms around you. You finally start to cry the tears you've been holding in all night long. After he stops you sit down on the couch and he kneels in front of you. "Have you slept at all?" You shake your head. How can he be this calm, you think, when I've just fucking clawed my arm to pieces and he is just fucking comforting me. "Okay," he responds "Want some coffee?" You nod yes. He goes into the kitchen and you hear the Keurig start up. He walks into the other bedroom and wakes up who you assume is Karkat, but you can't really tell. All you can hear is your heartbeat. Your guess was right because when they come out Bro follows Karkat to the kitchen. You hear cabinets opening and what sounds like a pill being cut in half. A few minutes later Karkat comes in with a hot cup of coffee and a pill. He sets the coffee and pill down on the coffee table. When he sits by you on the couch he leans on your shoulder and nuzzles your neck. "That's half of one of my nerve pills. It'll help you calm down." He says after a while. You nod and continue staring into space. You are beginning to enjoy this empty feeling in your head. You suppose what is really is is utter terror, but you don't vocalize those thoughts. You shakily reach down and grab the pill and coffee. It spills a little so Karkat holds the side while you swallow the pill. Eventually he leads you to his front porch of his house. "What made you feel like doing that?" He asks. You shrug and reply. "I don't know. I guess, I guess I just had a panic attack." Your voice is shaky and weak. You are still crying. "But why didn't you wake someone up?" You shrug again. "You were sleeping." His dog, a lab, comes up to you and lays her head on you knee. You smile when you see she has a ball in her mouth. "She can tell you're not feeling well." You again shrug and let out a few more tears. "Charli, sit." He tells her. He has to say it a few tries before she actually does it. "Okay now drop it." She does it first try, but when he tries to get the ball she bites at his hand. Eventually he throws the ball across the porch and she brings it to you. "Okay," you tell her in your broken voice. " sit." She obeys the command on the first try. "Now, drop it." She drops the ball and lets you pick it up. You throw it and she brings it back. "How do you have my dog trained better than me?" He ask and you both have a small laugh. You sit like that for about half an hour throwing Charli the ball snd making silly jokes. You stop crying. "Come on, let's go get some sleep." You nod and follow him into the house. He ask you if you wanna sleep in his room or yours and you say his. He ungracefully kicks Kankri out, saying he needs to cuddle time with his boyfriend. You blush. He puts his blackout curtains up and you crawl into his tiny ass twin bed. It sure is small, but it smells like him and you need that right now. He crawls in right beside you and spoons you from behind. You are usually the big spoon, but you can see why he enjoys this so much. Your last conscious thought before you fall asleep is: "I think I'm gonna be okay."

**Author's Note:**

> Yo if anyone wants to be my beta, email me please. PhanFindsFriends@gmail.com 
> 
> Yeah. I also might add on to this.


End file.
